25 Jan

Dear Doris,

Please wipe that look on your face and at least listen to the story before you judge me!! Yes, that’s more like it… You looked like you had swallowed a piggy bank!!

How are you my love? A few letters I had written you sometime last month were sent back to me…. Apparently you didn’t know the sender!!! Babe, whats going on? Ok asking for a divorce was understandable, I am always out of the country for business… BUT DECIDING YOU DO NOT KNOW ME ANYMORE IS A TAD, WELL… RUDE! I am not even sure you will get this one! I will write anyways.

I am going to dive right in it… Clearly my title does not allow me otherwise! I was out last Saturday… Like every other saturday of my life. At Quins to be exact. The crowd was fertile… By fertile i mean there was an approachable woman every half degree of head rotation! Does my last statement make sense? Then again, I don’t care!

So I want you to see exactly what is going on as it goes on. I want you to be in my shoes….I hope you can fit into a size 11! I will build the scene for you… I really hope you can read and understand English…

Koro achung e club büt DJ. Thum muoch marachhhh… Amadho kon’go ma tekre ne thoth ndi! Nyiri opong dabal… Nungo winyre to nyosre mo otamo wan’ga!

Ok that was a joke… Please get a Luo friend to help you with that last paragraph… No I will not be tribalistic… In English:

I am in the club, standing next to the DJ. The… This post is a bit boring… It’s not building up the way I want it to…

So to cut a long story short… This woman comes to me… she is well above 40. Her dread locks are well maintained and are rooting for her ass… which looked half her age! She is not pretty, but you can tell she is taking care of herself… The wrinkles under her eyes are well maintained… They are evident but not sagging like the ones most women her age do! Her fingers are heavily wrinkled. She is wearing a wedding ring that looks like its been round her finger longer than I have been alive. She is in white linen and her red heels look expensive. Her dress has its hem slightly above the knee. You can almost glimpse at her thighs!

She has heavy beads round her neck. rough beads, almost looks like ivory. Same material on her earrings! Her wrist watch looks expensive… 

She walks to me… Halfway across the club. Everyone around me is dancing vigorously to the dub step playing so she is quite ambiguous because she approaches slowly… Its like those exorcism movies where the possessed soul is so evident in a congregation! I sip my drink (that is blue by the way)!

She comes close enough to feel te hairs on my chest (I don’t have those)!

“I want you!” she whispers and turns around then heads back to her seat! The message was clear… It pierced through the loud music like there was no music at all… I sipped my drink!

Everyone around me was now staring at me… I felt naked…. I had to change my location! I went and sat at the far end of the bar, talking to this girl who knew me so well! I had no clue who she was!

“I can give you anything you want!” A whisper! The same voice from earlier! The story line then thickens! This woman was willing to get me a unicorn…

She winks at me then walks away!

I was getting freaked out so I change locations again! I am now at the furthest end of the club, near the bathroom… My plan… I would get into the bathroom if I was to spot her coming my way…

It was not long until I saw her… Approaching like gliding pelican… Thing is, she had this thing… the only way I can explain it is, ‘that thing that holds you on the track when a train is approaching!’

I was helpless.. She penetrated through the rowdy crowd like a snake…

“I want you to be mine… Tonight!” She whispered! She had pinned me against the wall! Her face almost touching mine! I was scared she might try to kiss me and infect me with a disease!


I am outside the club… waiting for my people so that we can leave… Guess who I see… YES! The woman in white linen! She, for the first time, has her hand bag. She was probably leaving too.. No, SHE WAS DEFINITELY LEAVING! She walks to me… This time, she does not say a word! She is holding a business card. Her intention was to slip it into my breast pocket! Almost all my shirts do not have breast pockets… So after a few seconds of trial and error, she slips it in me trouser back pocket… She grabs on my ass in the process! I do not move an inch!

I know her name and where she works…

I will not mention names, lakini, If your mother or grandmother drives a maroon X6, plates KXX XX9R she is willing to give me anything I want…

(I think I just broke a home Doris)

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Posted by on January 25, 2012 in love, sex, women tales


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43 responses to “MY SUGAR MUMMY

  1. optimusthe1

    January 25, 2012 at 6:49 pm

    Wololo…..piny tek ndi!

  2. barbz2011

    January 25, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    …dude you just made my night with the Luo lines – should have been two lines longer at least. :-) You do understand though that if Doris find’s out who’s family it is she will definitely NOT KNOW YOU!!! hhehehehe. Brilliant piece as usual..

  3. collo

    January 26, 2012 at 3:47 am

    Why dont these things happen to me?

    • mydeardoris

      January 26, 2012 at 11:15 am

      Collo… they probably do :D You just dont know it yet…

    • Bekithemba

      October 10, 2012 at 1:36 am

      I need you please can we be friends?

  4. akellove

    January 26, 2012 at 7:51 am

    I think I just broke a home…lol


    • mydeardoris

      January 26, 2012 at 11:14 am

      I really want a unicorn Abi…

    • Bekithemba

      October 10, 2012 at 1:41 am

      You looking so beautiful l wish to have you, how can l be yours

  5. a_girl_toto

    January 26, 2012 at 10:11 am

    i discovered this blog a month ago, and since then i only work like two hours a day then try catching up with what i missed. am now in august of 2010…(progress). Nway, like collo up there, how comes ths things never happen to me?

  6. savvykenya

    January 26, 2012 at 11:26 am

    He he..

  7. Sugar mummy hook up

    January 28, 2012 at 10:16 am

    Nice work here. Keep it up

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    El Sr. White Joxer

  9. Samson

    April 13, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    Am lookng fr a sugarmommy

  10. Freedom

    May 31, 2012 at 4:11 am

    I need a sugar mum serious one should call 08152775129

  11. jimmy

    June 9, 2012 at 1:39 am

    hae,any lovin,carin en undastnd lady kal0715612891

  12. daniel

    August 18, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    HELLO ARE YOU LOOKING FOR SUGAR MUMMIES. HURRY NOW..Hear are some sugar mummies looking for a young boy who is very good in bed and from 18years and above. Send your name,location,age,occupation and the age of your partner via: +2348078427212.

    • silas ndwiga

      July 22, 2013 at 10:20 pm

      call me on +254753857754

  13. Stephen

    August 29, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    Am 21, yrs and looking for a sugar mums to hook up with.

  14. Bekithemba

    October 10, 2012 at 1:32 am

    I need a sugar mum who had everything who will like to be friend with me,l live in Bulawayo,u email me if you are there.

  15. kimbia

    October 15, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    hae am lookin 4 a gud s muumy cal 0711702233

  16. Bizstler inc

    October 22, 2012 at 10:53 am

    and you let it pass?????

  17. michael kamau

    October 22, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    i am looking for a sugar mummy. she should live in Nairobi 30+ and fun loving. i am 25 years old currently in campus. please write an email to

    • michael kamau

      October 22, 2012 at 12:11 pm

      hi there

  18. Agent Eddy

    October 30, 2012 at 10:48 am

    Do you need a sugar mummy? I am Agent Eddy, i can assist you in getting
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    • mydeardoris

      October 30, 2012 at 11:02 am

      No Agent Eddy. I dont want a sugar mummy!!

    • stephen

      May 21, 2013 at 6:30 pm

      i need a sugar mummy.

  19. Nia

    January 7, 2013 at 4:42 pm

    I’m dying here! Ian you are pure comedy!!!

  20. Destiny

    February 18, 2013 at 12:23 am

    I need a sugar mummy i am 22 years old am very serious about it

  21. owolabi

    February 20, 2013 at 9:25 pm

    me i just need a sugar mummy dat will take good care of me here is my number 07030714006……….08089401647..

  22. Mswaki

    March 19, 2013 at 6:55 pm

    I’m now sure that you have those hairs! lovely!

  23. sadiq

    April 2, 2013 at 11:54 am

    contact 0716045120 for mums et 330ksh

  24. Oteneogili

    May 3, 2013 at 4:44 am

    Dis ma add come form benue state,u can ask of otukpo.when u come to otukpo them u ask of obagaji which is agatu local govt

  25. Oteneogili

    May 3, 2013 at 4:46 am


  26. Williams

    June 13, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    Pls i need a sugar mom here is my direct line 07059352079

  27. deedoris

    August 29, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    Reblogged this on doris omao and commented:
    Sugar Mummy?HAha…Awesome!!

  28. deedoris

    August 29, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    I can’t get enough of this blog….I am Doris but I don’t envy your doris at all.Lol!!

  29. Nemo

    October 2, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    Thank God for Dear Dorris beacuse this letters, have mad my day (Only read 2). As i run late for class hoping to squeeze another read but alas, its already 5.20, dammit! Looking forward to a good read this evening :)

    Aand how did the comment section end up being all about peeps looking for sugar mommies? LOL

    • mydeardoris

      October 2, 2013 at 5:29 pm

      I have no clue why people are looking for sugar mummies here! HAHA! Oh well…

      • Quick Kenyan Date

        November 7, 2013 at 10:37 pm

        Lovely blog dear. People look for love and sugar mummies everywhere. You would be surprised

  30. Roodboyizme

    October 28, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    Soo gross, guys are looking for sugars here…..doris, may i have the business card….i think we cud do business with the grandmother cum mother…. :)

  31. Risper

    January 31, 2014 at 9:22 am

    Mother…cum Grandmother. hehehehehehehe! i have officially become a favourite

  32. Simmz McSwagg

    February 7, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    0773259731 hook me up wt 1 sugarMummy

  33. Derrick mwangi

    February 13, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    hi i would love to know more about you


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