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SAFE SEX

26 Jul

Dear Diary,

when i was a kid i used to make my own meaning of things i did not understand, i was too embarrassed to ask people things because of the fear of being laughed at… so i sat back and CREATED my own world of explanations!

  1. When i was in class 4, i used to think…. scratch that… When i was in class 4, i KNEW that safe sex was DOING IT WITHOUT BEING BUSTED i.e IN A SAFE!
  2. i knew anyone whose picture was on the papers was dead!! in my head the newspaper was one big obituary! i dropped that explanation when my dad was on the papers and my mum was so excited about it!! IT DIDNT MAKE SENSE AT ALL! it was even worse when my dad came back home that evening!! Someone was playing a nasty joke on me!!
  3. i knew tissue paper was made out of old clothes!! i consulted on this particular issue, our house help said trees!!! AT THE TIME SHE LOOKED EXTREMELY STUPID!! i laughed at her so bad!!
  4. i was told babies are bought from the market!!! i didnt believe this!! Adults had very stupid explanations to my questions!! i decided babies are got from our neighbor's place. there were so many kids in that house!!! and all of them looked alike!! The woman from that house didnt like me very much- i had to find another explanation!!! i knew where babies come from before i a cooked a theory!!!
  5. i knew pineapples come from the SAME HOUSE (4 above) they never ran out of pineapples!!!!
  6. i knew hospitals were for people who have done something wrong and injections was the form of punishment!!! i was quite confused one time when i was taken to hospital without doing anything wrong, i ahd been in my bed the whole day(p.s- coincidence- every time i went to hospital, i had done something wrong e.g lied i was sick so as to skip school)                                                             i wanted to be a doctor when i grew up so i could punish people who did wrong!!! i was a confused child!!
  7. i knew Bob Marley was my neighbor!! DONT JUDGE ME AND LET ME EXPLAIN! the neighbors son played bob marley songs the whole day and sang along to all his songs!! He had to be Bob Marley!

im sorry i have to stop here, its 5:30 and i cant stay in this office one more second!

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3 Comments

Posted by on July 26, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

3 responses to “SAFE SEX

  1. Njeri Macharia

    July 26, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    ha hahaha…..I am basically *past dead*

     
  2. the sketch

    July 26, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    mission accomplished!! but dont die just yet, more to come!! =D

     
  3. Nabutilu

    July 26, 2010 at 9:17 pm

    hahaha!explain how 2 people would fit in a safe to have SAFE sex?

     

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