I was a very playful child!! I know all children are but mine was too much!! I know, evidence exists( letters my mum wrote to her sister when i was in class two)
So, i was very playful…i played baba in 6 chamama chababa homes!! i was always with the boy who fell from the tree and bust his skull or the other one who fell on the tarmac trying to jump on a moving lorry ( ACTUALLY IT WAS THE SAME KID) but that kid had a friend who helped him back up…ME! But this story is not about Oscar!
I have a scar on my thigh… NAH, THATS NOT A GOOD PLACE TO START!!
ok. I fell in a pit latrine the first time i ever saw one!!! I couldnt believe humans could do poo poo in a hole on the fuckin ground!! so i decided to test a few things!! I dont understand why my grandma left me alone with a gaping hole on the ground! Anyhu, i worked things out and finally learnt how to use this hole! i was quite successful till the point i had to reach for the tissue paper that was dangling a clear 2 meters above me!! THINGS WERE ELEPHANT! i chilled for a bit to seee if anyone would come rescue me!! i decided to take the matter in my own hands(HAHAHA) i jumped to reach for the toilet paper…1st try…2nd try…3rd try was a success, but the ground was not where i left it!!! YES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…i was INSIDE! What saved me was my strong arms that refused to pass the hole!! I WAS IN SHIT (LITERALLY)! I couldnt call for help coz i am sure id get into trouble!! i relaxed for a bit then tried to push myself out!!! i kept on laughing at myself!! it was hard!! i had locked myself in the toilet… P.s -i dont lock toilet dorrs ever since!!
i pulled myself out… i was a strong kid…. plus i had not me Shyrose…. I had a whole future ahead of me!!! i walked out that latrine a hero…. i didnt tell anyone for like an hour…i was stilla absorbing my glory!! Then……
"mama, i think i fell into the hole!!"
(i didnt go back shagz for a loooooooooooooong time)