19 Aug

Dear Doris,

Prostate cancer is cancer of the prostate!!!! THAT IS ALL I KNOW ABOUT PROSTATE CANCER! Shit- I dont even know what prostate is!i am here walking around with is a compound tubuloalveolar exocrine gland of the male reproductive system that i dont even know about!!!!if you thought you could actually get a cure from me- POLE!!! I could Google it and copy paste everything, but this is not a medical encyclopedia so i will not do so! I know who can help you though- Hawi*, she is a medicine student, you can ask her!!!


i am listening to a song called Polish The Moon (click here to listen) its too deep…. The guy says:

it has to be perfect,

i have to get it right,

Ill polish the moon, dust off the stars

line up the planets where they have to be

so all of the magic falls out the sky!!!!

p.s- I HATE THIS BITCH WITH ALL MY HEART!!!! not you Doris, im talking about some random!!!

Where was i before i was rudely interrupted?!! Yeah, the song!!!

Clearly this guy wants to do it right… listen to the next verse:

There isnt a promise i wouldnt keep

if you are willing to stay,

and if i had one wish, id hear your heart,

saying we dream the same way!!!!

I think those are really cool lines…. MOVING ON!!

OOOHHHH!! i almost forgot- i was arrested yesterday, ATI OBSTRACTING ARREST!!!

I was in a matatu, seated in front with the driver… The van was carrying 17 passengers instead of 14!! This is normal because it takes not more than 200 to come out of a SITUATION if need be!! Our van was stopped AT A ROUND ABOUT and the cop ordered me to open my door!!! Doris, the matatus in Nairobi have this mechanism to keep COPS OUT!!! i struggled with it for 10 seconds or less then gave up!!!

"siwezi fungua!!!" i said 1st MISTAKE

he struggled from outside to no avail!!

The woman seated next to me was beggging me to open the door so she could get off!!! I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK!!! im sorry for cussing!!!

the cop was now getting annoying calling me names!!!!

"si ufungue pekee yako!!" 2nd MISTAKE

"Kijana shuka!!" the NEGRO said!!! I am a very humble child, but there are some line you dont cross n he crossed it!!!

"Na wapi sasa??! nkt!" 3rd AND FINAL MISTAKE

DORIS something has come up and i need to leave… ill continue my story on my next post!!!!


Posted by on August 19, 2010 in Uncategorized



  1. Nabutilu

    August 20, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    Ian can you finish the story…..

  2. Nicci

    August 10, 2011 at 11:06 am

    I love your blog, newly introduced to it and loving it. 3 things though:
    1. Stop cussing every time you cuss, damn it!
    2. FINISH WHAT YOU START, in this case, your stories
    3. I feel like I know you from somewhere, and if I don’t, then you are the kind of person one is likely to find as one of my friends, lol. Your thought pattern is off the hook. And that is not a pick-up line #justsaying.

    • mydeardoris

      August 10, 2011 at 11:22 am

      Thank you Nicci 🙂

      I stop cussing at some point into the letters… I promise. I FINISH MY STORIES =) Tell me which one was not finished and I will finish it today… just for you. I might be your house boy or the guy selling newspapers across the road… i might be anyone 😀

      Thank you though.


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