Dear Doris, I am terribly

08 Nov

Dear Doris,
I am terribly sorry for going this long!! You must think its over between us… which isn't not the case!! What we have is anything but over!! So wipe those tears and toughen that upper lip!!! I have a confession to make… MY love, I have been cheating on you terribly!! I know you knew this would happen from the first day we met her!! Her being the woman i am cheating on you with!!

In worse news, yesterday was the worst day of my life this year!! Does that last statement even make sense??
First of all i lost my wallet!! I was pick pocketed at the Alaine concert!! Funny thing is that i saw who did it and even caught him and hit him.. Then I saw how big he was and i let go faster than you could say,
 "shit he is huge!' he got lost in the
crowd in a split second!! Among the numerous things i lost in my wallet were:
My ATM card (now i am so broke I should live in the crevices of a random church with my fellow broke asses- THE MICE!)
M ID card that took me 4 years to get!! WHAT THE FU*k!! This world is everything but my home!!!
My Money!! Considering I had just been paid, you can imagine how much went… But those are replace-ables!!
And now the most important item… MY CONDOMS!!! I can see the look in your face… I don't use them…. I can see your face twitch!! As in, i do not use them because I do not have sex!! I am saving my virgin self for marriage… Even my wife will not get some until we are married 6 years!!! HA! So i always have random condoms in my wallet for the people around me who insist on having sex before marriage!! I pray they see the light i saw!!! Like i was saying, I keep them for the people around me. Not that they cannot afford 'em… but it comes a
time when you just need 'em and you…Ugh why im I even explaining myself!!! You know very well what I am trying to say!!! So yeah, those too also went with my wallet, looks like my people will be having a lot of unprotected sex these coming few days!! HAHA!

I need a new wallet!!!

i know you are thinking "that's all?? for worst day this year??"
well I have two more stories that will blow your mind!! But I will not say them. All you have to do now is trust that yesterday was, by far, my worst day this year!!!

But the best part of the terrible day was the evening…. remind me to tell you about this evening!! =) I absolutely loved it!!

P.s- I think my driving license renewal receipt was in there too… DEAR DORIS, this is what you term as FUCKED. i am terribly sorry for cussing!!

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Posted by on November 8, 2010 in Uncategorized


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