If you are reading this expecting to learn 5 things men hate about women, I advise you to stop at this point and read no further… I used the title to get your attention. If you are at this point and did not stop where i told you to then you must be one disobedient human being!! If you are here, then nothing will stop you!! If you go on to the next sentence, YOU ARE STUPID!!! I am surprised you are still reading!!
Where were we before you refused to stop reading??? Yes, at the beggining!!
My Doris, greetings for the day! I am sorry to have taken so long tom talk to you today!! The lights went out…. ignore all the facebook updates and random events I put up today, I used my phone!! I am not lying by the way!!!
If you have the least bit of brain in you, you have probably noticed that I have nothing to say and I am just beating about the bush trying to get something to write about!! You know, like right now…. yeah!!
Ok I have absolutely nothing to write about today, so i will tell you a story about myself many years ago!! So we had this Mboch ( for those who do not know what a mboch is, it is a hair brush) Yeah, where was I… Yeah, her name was Grace or was it Celestine?? Wha'evaaa!!! hahaha!!! I just said wha'evaaa!! Yeah… for the less educated, you must be very confused now that our hair brush has a name… It talks too!!! So Grace/Celestine told me this story of how her mother was slapped by her shadow until she died!!! Hahahaha!! If you didnt know what mboch is at the beginning of my story… I can imagine the look on your face!!
So ladies and gentlemen, this was a very scary, frightening, alarming, terrifying, petrifying, hair-raising, spine-chilling, blood-curdling,bone-chilling, chilling, horrifying, nerve-racking, fearsome, unnerving; eerie, sinister, creepy, spine-tingling,spooky, hairy story to go on telling a child who could barely read or run!!! I hear stories of kids freaked out by the DARK…. That can be sorted by dim lighting!! Imagine a kid, in this case myself, scared of shadows…. in Kisumu, a town where electricity goes like every two seconds and we have to use candles that project HUGE SHADOWS ON THE WALL…. I almost died this one time when the lights went out one night and I was drawing on the wall standing on top of a banker bed…. I jumped… Dont look at me like it was nothing!! With my size at the point that jump was well above four storeys!!!
I can never get myself to say Motherfucker* to anyone… but they are so many out there!!! If you are below the age of 21 and you just read that filthy cuss word, I am sorry, but i remember very clearly asking you to stop reading way back…. Its your fault!!!