So I had all these stories I wanted to tell you but I can remember a single one!!!! So I will tell you random stories that might not make sense!!
So I dreamt I shit my pants last night!! You remember when you were a kid and you would dream you are pissing and wake up swimming in a blotted pool of your own piss?? It would be this beautiful feeling of you emptying your bladder… Then you would wake up to the wetness of the mattress??!!! Remember?? Well you can imagine how petrified I was when I woke up after a dream of shitting!!! I could move!! A man of my age and lifestyle…. shitting my pants would be UTTER 'WICH KUOT' (that's embarrassment in Italian) You will not believe this but I tried squeezing my butt cheeks just to confirm!!!
The pictures that rushed through my brains!!!! Pasta would laugh at me so badly I would DIE!!! OH my God….. THE PICTURES WERE VIVID!!! The neighbors would see me take my mattress outside!!! It would make status updates on Facebook and become a trend on Twitter!!!
" today I heard the funniest story #ianpoopedinbed"
"OMG @ian sketch arunga"
HAHAHAHA! I would die!! I am sure you have already noticed that I am using past tense which means I did not shit my pants!!!
I have just remembered something I wanted to say…. THE ABBREVIATIONS people use on Facebook!!!! I hate them!!! It take me ages to get them!! So I saw a new one last week… ION!!! For a split second, I thought someone spelt my name wrong… apparently it means… IN OTHER NEWS!!!
The other one I hate is LOL…. My Lord(ML)!!!
Too much work to do… But lemme go shit for real first!!!
Talking about shit, has anyone seen the OYO billboards all over town with a green cow with red spots?? And it has a slogan "Give your food a beefy taste" WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK!!! I am terribly sorry for cussing, didn't know you were there!!! But comparing good food to beef does not sound right at all! BTW(by the way) OYO is special seasoning or spice.