Forgive me for letting people come between us my darling. Forgive me for thinking its upon other people to keep us together. Men or no men, we will be together. By men I mean men and women… Just making things clear.
No one will ever come between us. Not even Pocahontas… Maybe Pocahontas!!!
In this busy town, everyone everywhere is selling food… By food I mean anything you put in your mouth, chew, and probably swallow… HAHAHAHAHA!!! Forgive my perverseness.
Moving on… Yeah, this list goes from PK chewing gum at some dingy street corner to a 5 course meal at The Tribe. But this post is not for the extremes… There is something not original about Pks that have been under the Nairobi heat all day or a well lit table with things you can pronounce their names… I want to take you through the cool spots… affordable and easy access… These places will not give two squirts of piss on how you are dressed… You will come in nude and you will still be served!!
- RED ROBIN
This place has been around for the longest time. My friends dad worked here almost 30 years ago. This place is not the cleanest. There is so much smoke floating around you could get lung cancer if you stayed there long… Their Chicken is very good but will hurt your stomach like CRAZYYYYY!!! So dont eat their chicken!! I suggest this place because of their SPECIAL SAUCE… haha!! Yeah, they have this sauce that's from heaven!! I don't know how its made and i don't want to know… Put it on your fries and soak them in vinegar and chilli sauce and you will be going home a happy man!!Don't eat their burgers, YOU WILL SURELY DIE!
Red Robin is the place for THE SAUCE!!
CAUTION: EXcessive consumption of this sauce WILL CAUSE DIARRHEA. So kidogo kidogo tu..
Its small. less smoke and cleaner than Red Robin. Their special sauce is shit… I am not hating. Its Kachumbari in dilute tomato sauce that you have to pay 5 bob for… But this is the spot for good chicken that will not hurt your tummy!! Their chicken go fast so be sure to get fresh chicken… Their fries are also out of this world… dry and crunchy!! Thats how I like it!! Soak these in vinegar and chilli (which is achari mixed with water) and a dash of salt and you are good to go!!
Sonford is the place for THE CHICKEN AND FRIES
CAUTION: "DO NOT SPIT IN THE SINK. IF FOUND YOU PAY A FINE OF 1000 bob" a sign above the sink.
But after eating vinegar there is this strong urge to spit… Spitting in the sink is forbbiden in all these places i have mentioned. NOT THAT I HAVE SPUT BEFORE AND FINNED!!!
3. IMBISS FISH AND CHIPS
HAHAHAHA!! This on is the dirtiest of them all and I promise you anything you get from here will fuck up your insides… even soda!!Its small and crowded and the floor is as slippery as a skating rink… heavy with cooking oil. The place is called Imbis Fish and Chips but they do not sell fish!! HAHAHA!! Apart from all the negative energy in this place, their fries is the best in town!! AGAIN, BE WARNED_ It will hurt your stomach so bad!! I try it out once every two months… I just pass by the chemist first to get myself Eno and a dose of Flagil… I will surely get sick… But i will have had the best fries in the world!!
Imbis Fish and Chips is not the place for FISH.
I know those people who go like " i cant eat in those places… they are so dirty", Yeah its true… Extremely dirty…. But you have no idea what you are missing.
HII NI SYSTEM YA MAJAMBAZI!!!