10 May

Dear Doris,

My love, I know it has been ages since we last spoke! I will not lie that I have been busy… I just didn’t know what to say!

My migraines are back my angel… They are not as bad as they used to be, but they last longer!! If I am to die before I feel your touch again… I will die twice!

I was almost dying last night. A migraine and a sore throat do not go well together. It’s like you throat and your brain are itching at the same time but you can’t scratch neither! When I was finally able to sleep, at like midnight, my dad storms into our bedroom and says, in these exact words…

“Mama Ben has just passed. You people take me to the hospital…”

By you people, he means my brother Pasta and I… Mission impossible!! This man totally ignored the fact that I could die any second from this sore throat!!

We get to Nairobi Hospital ICU… There are two ladies who are on the floor crying. From what I got, they were Mama Ben’s daughters! They had lost a mother… I was balancing tears…If I had known who Mama Ben was, I would have probably cried. I cry easy, I cry every time I watch  THE NOTEBOOK or JOHNNY Q. Strange thing is, I only tear with my left eye!!

I lost my mother on a random afternoon in 1997…. Seeing those two ladies mourn brought it all back.

I was a kid, anywhere between 0 and 45 years old.

“She was sitting right here. We talked. Just yesterday…!” Ben explained, pointing at a seat.

People more than often remember the last moments spent with the departed… I can’t remember the last moments I spent with my mother. In my head, my ass was being whooped for refusing to go to school and the next there was no one to whoop my ass! I can’t remember the last thing she told me, I keep on telling myself it was’ “BLOW YOUR NOSE!” my nose was always running and my mum couldn’t stand it… Not a day passed without hearing those words! But I remember the last thing I told her…

“Get well soon…” at the time I didn’t even know what that meant, but it was supposed to help make her feel better according to my brother Tito.

Years later, I found letters my mother wrote to my aunt (her step sister). I really hated school… I drew on every page of my text books and answered “AKYA” to math sums I didn’t know the answer to. Akya is ‘I ont know’ in Luo!! or “ITHAGA” which means ‘you are disturbing me’!! It was clear Engineering wasnt going to be my field…

I still draw… I drew on my text books through high school and college… I draw during meetings… my office walls are covered in my art work, random sketches and doodles. I can’t stop!

If you knew my mother and you are reading this, you probably know by know that she was the prettiest thing in the world… And this is not one of those lines…



Posted by on May 10, 2011 in love, near death, Uncategorized


4 responses to “LOST SEASON 0

  1. Bree

    May 10, 2011 at 11:18 am

    I am torn ,its both sad and funny. 🙂 great stuff.

  2. Ruman

    May 10, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    She’s looking down upon you thinking, Son, you outgrew my lap, but never my heart.

  3. Storymoja Africa

    May 10, 2011 at 1:23 pm


  4. rita onyango

    May 10, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    beautiful! and yes your mother was indeed very beautiful!


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