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NYAYO HOUSE AND SEX

10 Aug

Dear Doris,

Good  morning my love. How are you today? I hope this letter finds you well and beautiful like you have always been. You did not reply my last two letters. It is fine. I understand what we are going through is a bit stressful and all. I pray you understand that I can not make this work by myself… I need you to hep Doris.

Your lawyer came to my office yesterday. She said you needed money for your up-keep! What was that all about? I am seated here hoping my ass off that our children are not sleeping hungry!

This is a letter I wrote to you a while back. I didn’t post it though because I couldn’t finish it for some reason. I still havent finished it. I thought you might like it. Here it goes. It’s in blue.

“I heard, that your settled down.

That you, found a girl and your married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things, I didn’t give to you…” Someone like you by Adele

That is the song I have been listening for the past half an hour!

I woke up earlier than usual today so I could make it to Nyayo House on time to register for my new generation passport! I was there at 7:45am and 9th on the line when the doors opened!! I was happy because the day before I was 400th on the line and the man in front of me smelt like he had been in an oven full of shit!! I gave up thus the reason I was there that early!

My turn came up and I walked to the woman behind the ‘not bullet proof’ glass…

“good morning…” I said in a smile hoping she wouldn’t ask me for my ID!!

“Wapi ID!?” was her response to my greeting!!

“I lost it. But my abstract form and a copy of it is attached….” I say in a twang trying to look important!!

“hapana. Go see the Supervisor, office 15!!” she says and shouts NEXT!!!

There was still hope in my heart… Office 15  WAS EMPTY!!

I walk to a dark-skinned woman whose weave shouted “I AM THE SECRETARY”

“good morning, I am here to see the supervisor…” I ask in a respectful smile…

“KAMAU ALIEDAA?” she asks her secretary friend who was sitting a few meters away!! Her breath belonged at Nyayo House!!

“He went for a walk!!” The other idiot replies in utter arrogance!!

ITS 8 fuckin am… A WALK??!!

“who is asking?” The idiot adds looking at me!! I FELT LIKE STAPLING HER EYELIDS TOGETHER!!

“wait there’ the secretary says pointing at some bacteria ridden seats!! I sit!

My mother gave me a number to call in case I had any problems!! Mr. Mwangi!! Another useless one!!

I sit where I was told like a good citizen!!

A man in an oversized jacket and unpolished shoes announces…

“We are having an  exercise and will not be serving the public until 2pm!” First is that how exercise is spelt??!!

I will leave now. I am going to meet this reporter woman who wants to do a story on my recent successes. She is beautiful and understanding and has helped me through this hard time. She thinks I am extremely funny. I am meeting her at some posh hotel for dinner and drinks this weekend. She said she has something to show me.

That last paragraph was a lie and was intended to make you feel jealous!! It’s only you in my heart… It’s only you I want to be with.

Yours for better and for worse.

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7 Comments

Posted by on August 10, 2011 in near death, random

 

7 responses to “NYAYO HOUSE AND SEX

  1. Footprints Press

    August 10, 2011 at 11:29 am

    Sweet! I love the writing!!

     
  2. Dr James Eva

    August 10, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    To tell the real truth, though, I have found someone much better than you ever were or could be, and I am madly, ecstatically in love! I hate to tell you that you never made me feel that way. Also, any satisfaction I ever appeared to have (from anything you did at all) was faked. So there!

     
    • mydeardoris

      August 10, 2011 at 2:50 pm

      🙂 I wish you all the best Dr. James Eva… But, mmmm, i was talking to Doris.

       
  3. Elsie

    August 11, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    hahahahahahahaha Ian, who is Dr. James Eva:|

     
  4. Sheblossoms

    August 15, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    Wait, a minute, you were having an affair with Dr. Eva? No wonder Doris won’t reply to your letters, and me I was here thinking she is not a very smart girl to let a guy like you go. Ai! Hata wewe!

     
    • mydeardoris

      August 15, 2011 at 12:19 pm

      I have no idea who Dr. Eva is and I would NEVER CHEAT ON DORIS!!! NEVER!

       
  5. My Dearest Adrian

    August 16, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    Adrian is not talking to me too ;( *pockets n walks away* fix it with Doris

     

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