02 Nov

Dear Doris,

Have you been well my lovely? I hope so! So I have like 5 minutes to write this. I have a crazy deadline to meet but you know you have always come first!!

This is a quick story about today morning!!

So Baba wakes us up for devotion like always!! At 5:30 am. Normally i can tell who has gone downstairs with the footsteps!! I can tell when Baba goes down the stairs… followed by Mama… Then Mamima! Then my brother and I come down together!! Its been like that for almost 7 months now so its like clock work in my head!!

BUT today, Baba went down the stairs followed closely by Mama the Mamima… Then extra footsteps!! There

was someone else in this house that I didn’t know about!

We have visitors now and then… I love looking at their faces after they have been woken up at the crack of dawn for devotion!! I almost burst out into mocking laughter!

So I come down to the living room… Curious to see the extra heart beating under our roof!!

Its my sister’s friend!!


A strange pretty young thing in a t-shirt and a robe… Her hair is held neatly at the back like she had been getting ready for devotion for a while!! She crosses her leg!!  There was something very wrong with this scene!

Her left juicy thigh is in full sight… This is one of those things Jesus keeps on talking about!! TRIALS!!

So I am awake but my mind has drifted so far way. There is no difference between me and a man who is dead asleep at this point! A mans brain works backwards… If that even makes sense! We work from our successes backwards!! I have no idea what that means!

What I forgot was it was my turn to pray!  Mama called out “Iano pray for us…”

For a fraction of a second I HAD COMPLETELY NOTHING IN MY MIND!!

“huh!” I said as I rebooted my system that was now deep in the gutter!!

The prayer I uttered didn’t get far, Not an inch beyond my nose… My thoughts were sijui corrupted!!

It was something like this… “Dear God….. thighs thighs thighs… We come to you… thighs thighs thighs… blah blah blah… thighs thighs thighs!”

Ok Bye…

p.s If you are going to bring a PYT home… LET A BROTHER KNOW!!!

p.p.s this particular post doesn’t have a single spelling mistake!


Posted by on November 2, 2011 in comedy, women tales


Tags: , , , , ,

2 responses to “CHURCH HEATHEN!

  1. Njeri Wamarite

    November 2, 2011 at 7:56 pm

    walala thighs…hahaha

  2. optimusthe1

    November 26, 2011 at 12:14 am

    waaaaar!….Dear God…thighs….thighs


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: