(I had typed out this post but lost it because I was using my phone which has no auto-save functions. This story is vivid. I hope i can be as graphic as the first time I wrote it. Please be advised that this particular post is not comedy. Stop laughing, I AM SERIOUS!)
My love, you almost lost me yesterday! It is a crazy world out here… I almost gave in to it! I know this means nothing to you! Dead or alive, everything looks the same to you! But I will tell you my story anyway!
ACT ONE. SCENE ONE.
I have an art workshop in Sun Beam. Sun Beam is situated along Nairobi’s busy Kipande Street. To makes things easy, It’s somewhere near Afya Centre. I Live in Kileleshwa. Matatus to this place are taken at Odeon. Every evening after work, I walk from Koja Bus Park (where matatus from my office stop) all the way to Sun Beam then later on, back to Odeon. If you are familiar with these three spots I have mentioned, you already know that I cross the entire CBD stretch every evening!
Please be advised that this town swarms with humans…
Please calm your balls. I am building my scene!
I have just left the workshop. I am hungry and I am walking a top speed… almost breaking into sprint!! I cant wait to get home!The time is 8:30pm and everyone is rushing home. Just before getting to the Luthuli Avenue junction I see this woman, way past her middle ages, walking straight into my path! like I said, I was at TOP speed! I was going to knock her off her feet! She looked so dazed! She was looking away and couldn’t see this jaganaut coming her way!
The normal reaction is, tap her shoulder to alert her of oncoming danger!
I stretch out my hand to tap her…. She turned towards me before i got to tap her… Just in time to see a strange man going for her hand bag. Thats exactly how it looked like!
She clutched onto her bag and at the top of her old voice… shouted! “MWIZI!!!”
I didnt even have time to get shocked!
In a fraction of a second, half the town had surrounded me! My leather bag had been taken from me and was being searched! A man had his hands around my neck cutting my air supply! Another man had kicked behind my knees to force them to fold!
In less than 5 seconds i was on my knees, couldnt breath and had seen my life flash before my eyes!!
“Nyinyi ndio muna sumbua watu hii Nairobi!” A voice from the crowd!
I couldnt even think!!
“Embrace the pain Ian…. Embrace the pain!” I kept on telling myself! I was going to die!
From the tiny spaces between peoples feet I could see a makanga running towards me weilding a whip! Swinging it above his head! Things had just gotten serious!
Then from the crowd… the same voice that got me into this mess… “mwacheni!! Hajaiba kitu!”
And just as fast as they had surrounded me…. they dispersed!
I was on that same spot…. on my knees for a while! I cant remember what was going through my mind… I don’t think anything was going through my mind! The woman who had started it all was standing next to me, still clutching on her purse like I was going to steal it!
I got up and picked my documents that were all over the place and put them in my bag! Then slowly walked to Odeon! My life still flashing before my eyes!
The woman was tailing me… I didn’t care!
I got to Odeon and into a matatu! ‘The woman’ tapped my shoulder and said…. “haki pole!” in utter innocence! “nikulipie gari?” she added…. I didn’t answer… She paid anyways!
From that day onwards… I bulldoze across this town like a mad man… Not a care in the world!