My Swahili is terrible! So my title simply means ‘Holy Slut’! If this is not what it means then I apologize! I have been away for a while now and my medulla is boiling with stories! I am not even sure where to start! I promise from now on i will try to write everyday like i used to 2 years ago! Lets not waste any time now!
Its Monday today! Just keep that little fact in mind! that’s all I am asking! I know it can become a bit difficult for a few of you when it comes to exercising the brain… Moving on!
I was at the bank on Friday! KCB Sarit to be exact! I had taken a friend! Yes I had that much free time and I was utterly bored at the office! But this is not the point! So I am comfortably seated on the seat in the banking hall waiting for my friend to finish! Theres absolutely nothing to do with your ‘free’ time in a bank! In a few minutes i had gone through all their brochures and boring magazines… Wait…. Their wasnt a single magazine! Some lady came to me twice to ask if ‘i had been assisted!’ Sounds like a brothel huh? ATI ASSISTED!!! SI TWENDE KWANGU UNI-ASSIST BASI MADAM! But this is not the point either!
I had been seated here for almost an hour now and was dozing off! Then this tall woman walks in… YES IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT A WOMAN!
She is extremely dark… as in shes almost blue! You have probably already deduced that I wasnt interested! I don’t go for anything below 60 watts! It’s not her complexion that got me and the entire banking hall… ITS WHAT SHE WAS WEARING! OR SHOULD I SAY WHAT SHE WAS NOT WEARING!
Her heels were the height of a new pencil!
She was in a red blouse that was SOOO SEE THROUGH I could count the number of polka dots she had on her bra! AND I AM BLIND! I am not complaining! She was wearing those shorts women wear these days… with the high waist! Do you know them?
Her shorts were SHORT! As in they were so tiny you could glimpse at the foot of her ass! As in you could see that fold separating thigh from ass… I know you know this fold!
She was carrying a huge bag… You know the ones for ‘I will not be home till Thursday!’
The banking hall came to a halt! The money counting machines that are always rattling went quiet! The ringing phones… QUIET! As in for a fraction of a minute, she had the whole bank by its balls!
I was wide awake now…
She made her way swinging her ass to the ‘cheque deposit’ queue and posed… Yes… She posed at the end of the queue like a photographer was in the house! I was busy taking pictures with my bare eyes!
She had the X factor… You know those women who are completely not your type but there is an un-explainable force that just draws you to them? I call that THE X FACTOR!
The bank is back on its feet but every man in that hall is trying to steal a glimpse at this tall dark almost naked woman! Even the old men had their tongues out!
THIS NEXT PART IS THE FUNNIEST BIT!
OUR model’s phone rings!!!! HAHA! and her ring tone, “AKISEMA ATAKUBARIKI, HAKUNA ATAKAY ZUIA, KWANI YEYE NDIYE MUNGU something something something!”
The phone couldn’t stop ringing and she couldn’t find it in her huge bag… She gave up on finding it and posed and let it ring… I laughed so loudly the guard asked me to leave the bank!!!