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Letter from Doris?

16 Jul

I got this in my email inbox last night from a Dorcas* and got a little too over excited. I have not edited it in any way or made any changes. I think I might have found Doris. (Guest Post)

My dear Ian,

It is your true love Dorcas* writing to you…even as I write this I am in a state of shock. First of all, I don’t know why you insist on calling me Doris, when you well know that the name I was given at birth was Dorcas. It makes me think that maybe you are ashamed of me..or worse of our love.

Dearest Ian, as I write this, my heart trembles for you, and yet I am ever so confused. All these love letters that you have written pining for me, and I never received one. In fact, it took Mercy’s sister-in-law’s, house-help’s auntie who told me about the blog. Imagine my surprise to find that for months – nay years, you have been declaring your love for me to the world.

Yet, I don’t understand it…first of all, I have never received one single letter from you. Furthermore, I live just down the street – why would you not come straight to me and tell me….unless there is another Dorcas who you have named Doris that you are writing to?

I spent many hours last night reading and reading and reading, and I have to confess –  my heart shattered into a million pieces. On one hand you declare your love for me, and on the other you constantly talk about these yellow-yellow padded girls. It breaks my heart when you know that I am quite the opposite of that – are you taunting me on purpose?

Well, I have to tell you, you have competition. Last night I received an x-rated message from one Njugu George who sells peanuts at the roundabout at Westlands. He is much more poetic than you, and even calls me baby. Let me tell you – you have competition. And it doesn’t matter that he is only 15 years old.

I write this letter to you so that you can see that I love you, but clearly our relationship is in jeapordy. I am too tired to write more..my love, I pine for you. Forget those yellow-yellows..they only want you for your style. Come back to me.

Yours forever,

Dorcas*

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18 Comments

Posted by on July 16, 2012 in guest posts

 

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18 responses to “Letter from Doris?

  1. Savvy Kenya (@savvykenya)

    July 16, 2012 at 9:07 am

    Ha ha Dorcas is funny!

     
  2. Magi

    July 16, 2012 at 9:11 am

    LOL you are facing competition from a 15yr old “Njugu George?” give up!

     
  3. deedoris

    July 16, 2012 at 9:22 am

    lol..ati Dorcas…*i died*hahaha

     
    • mydeardoris

      July 16, 2012 at 10:47 am

      I am investigating who she is… haha!I need to find her!

       
  4. Shiro

    July 16, 2012 at 9:30 am

    Hahahaha I like Dorcas, Ian you got competition here!

     
    • mydeardoris

      July 16, 2012 at 10:46 am

      A 15 year old selling njugu? Competition? Nah!

       
  5. mmnjug

    July 16, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Compe from a poetic 15yr old? Either up your A-Game or move on! Hahahaha!

     
    • mydeardoris

      July 16, 2012 at 11:16 am

      Its just a fling… She will come back running for all the love she will leave behind!

       
      • mmnjug

        July 16, 2012 at 3:24 pm

        Did you note that the kid sells Njugus? Hehehehe! That is the secret!

         
  6. optimusthe1

    July 16, 2012 at 1:43 pm

    Compe roho safi……It’s all in the njugus….aphrodisiac u know 🙂

     
  7. kaloosya anto (@kaloosyam)

    July 17, 2012 at 10:35 am

    a 15 year old writing x-rated messages to your “DORCAS”…….man! up your game! hehehehe

     
  8. Collins Otieno

    July 19, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    Boss you seem not worried by the compe from 15 year old (why lie si inakaa the boy ako juu ama ni njuigu ndio zina mpa lugha!!).
    You tell us, this Doris is she the your “Doris” ama..I suggest you read between the “sweet nothings” utuambie..

     
  9. jojo nyagwalla (@alnamesrtaken)

    July 26, 2012 at 10:59 am

    Hahahaha……clearly i’ve been away for too long.

     
    • mydeardoris

      July 26, 2012 at 12:16 pm

      I have 5 Dorises since you left!!!

       

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