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The Other Doris Writes Again

07 Aug

Boy wa me niaje? Kunitupa ndio zako? Nimekuhata mbaya mboyz wa mine, nivutie nangos boss. Umeishi aje kama hujachora letter, hata nilikuwa nimegwaya kwani umegedi… ama ulidecide kuishia na hao wasupa wengine wamekuwa wakikuhema. Nakulove yangu yote bana..

Nacheki karibu ubambwe na makanjo mzeiya,kwani hujajua kuishi ya jiji? Lazima ukikaa jiji ujue kuhepa, kanjo ma mbang’a, teargas na hata saa zingine ma alshabab. Yani hata kiwete anakuondoka? Hapo umeniangusha boy wangu. Haya tubonge kitu ilifanya ufike hapo, ndula! Ati wewe hupanguziwa ndula mara ngapi? Ian bana hata kama ni look na usos, ndula panguzia mtaani asubuhi, tembea poa hadi ufike wera alafu jioni sio lazima upanguze, si unarudi kejani ama? Lakini usikonde (btw ukakonda zaidi ya hapo hata upepo inakubeba) msee wa mine hapo uliponea.

Btw kwani wewe hutumia nangos gani? Saa zote wewe husema unanichorea letaa kwa nangos, nimejaribu na nangos ya me na haiwes mek, labda nikuandikie kisms hivi! Na kwani kwenyu hakuna madingo? Uyole ukitoa nangos kwa mat na inakaa inaweza uzwa zaidi ya kavu mbili, hautaicheki tena,unapigwa nyongolo na inaishia. Ile siku utadecide kucome kunicheki uyole usibebe nangos yeyote na hata usivae hizo ndula za kutoka maiyolo ama utarudi mtaani mguu chuma, lakini usijali, nitakutegea kwa roteja so ukidondoka mat nitakuwa rada na wewe mbaya sawa? So unajaku lini mtu nguyaz? Alafu bro ya mine alinyongoa msee westie juzi  na akambeba kisimu flani kisoo kimeandikwa Samsung. Kama unajua mahali anaweza kikinda nishow, hata wewe tutakugawia hio mkwanja biz ikiivana sawa?

Alafu pia nilicheki vile wee unihata hadi umeanza kunilinganisha na matha wa kiothe mtaa yenyu, hizo ndio mimi huita njaro za ovyo, namba yangu unayo, badala univutie tuonane, kazi yako ni kuandama wasupa wa wenyewe. Mimi nishajipa bana, wee tu ndio unaweza niokolea ndio niomoke, hata mimi ningependa kuishi kilee ubabini kama wee joh,nikuwe nadish masandwich na kuenda ma place kama dormans.

Fanya mpango tuonane bana. Wewe ndio msee wa miaeh.

STRONG!

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17 Comments

Posted by on August 7, 2012 in guest posts, letters from Doris*

 

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17 responses to “The Other Doris Writes Again

  1. Savvy Kenya

    August 7, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Mtu nguyaz, kuwa strong. Mi naona huyu ndio Doris mwenyewe!

    I got a laugh out of this when Google offered to translate it into English from Kiswahili!

     
    • mydeardoris

      August 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm

      haha! My Doris doent know sheng :DI dont know this one!!

       
  2. optimusthe1

    August 7, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    Manze si u have killed it! The sheng is just too deadly and the Tasha imagerry just does it for me 🙂

     
    • mydeardoris

      August 7, 2012 at 2:29 pm

      haha! Its a guest post… I don’t know that much 😀

       
  3. Blu Kare

    August 7, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    ha ha haha…my ribs….i get more n more amazed that one can write a whole page of sheng…..Wah!! deadly.

     
    • mydeardoris

      August 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm

      Its a talent… You should see the lady who wrote it…. You would never guess!

       
  4. Kissy

    August 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    This is how Tasha talks. Nice one.

     
  5. mmnjug

    August 7, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    The phrase that kills me over and over again………… “..mtu nguyaz..” Every time I hear that phrase, I burst out laughing…!

     
    • mydeardoris

      August 7, 2012 at 3:24 pm

      haha! I can only pronounce it in my head 😀

       
      • mmnjug

        August 7, 2012 at 4:16 pm

        Someone called me ‘Mzito’ I still laugh when I recall that word!! Hilarious I tell you!

         
  6. Martha Massawe

    August 7, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    😮 Huh?! O.o I tried Google translate.. Imenipita hiyo, 😀

     
  7. Aisha :)

    August 8, 2012 at 10:17 am

    Lord Have Mercy!

     
  8. untonyto

    August 8, 2012 at 6:52 pm

    😀 Murder!

     
  9. proboxsucceed

    August 10, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    Spent a whole 30 minutes reading this. What? Hiyo sheng ni kama ile ya ghetto radio.

     
  10. hausofjoy

    August 16, 2012 at 10:50 am

    whaarr!! off to google translate! 😀

     
  11. jaymmore (@Jaymmore)

    August 23, 2012 at 9:22 am

    Kudos writer, Mambo wagwan, mara ya fao hapa and hope utatuchapia za bro yako na vile alidingo hiyo nangos..

     

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