05 Oct

My Lovely Doris,

My enchantment…. I have missed you so… I know I have been quiet… I was trying this thing where I go real silent and wait for you to ask whats wrong…. Of which I would answer, ‘nothing’ and hope you feel terrible for the rest of your life… But it is evident that you know this trick – you did not ask me anything… OR say anything for that matter… I am starting to feel like a psychopath: Writing letters to a woman who probably never reads them… But at least I am your psychopath!! Crazily in love with you!

I have a terrible flu with no tissue. That simply means I keep on sniffling. This is annoying everyone around me… I love the attention… *sniffle*

On to more important things – I have not watched Nairobi Half Life… SUE ME! But I have met so many people who have watched it…. As in every little gathering I am in has that woman who barely has boobs talking about how good it was and blubbering about the scenes, and who did what and haki woiye and a lot of things I do not like being said about movies I have not watched… I have heard these stories so much that in my head I have practically watched it! I, in these gatherings, with a straight face, say; I have watched it! That is a confession!

Talking about movies… James Bond! I don’t now about you but the weird smile I had across my face just got wiped of by that! James Bond! You can almost hear the empty shell of a bullet hit the floor ripping apart the concrete silence after someone has just been shot right between the eyes! James Bond!

It is a bit weird that I took a woman I wanted to get with in all the James Bond movies I have watched on big screen… I am no prostitute so do not give me that look! They are not many; the James Bond movies I have watched at the theaters…3 to be exact! Die Another Day, Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace! I am about to tell you how I did not get with these women!!

If you want to go to a movie with a woman, and actually have a little time to make out…. Try The Vow, or Water For Elephants or stay at home… Do not try this with a James Bond movies, something or someone will be blowing up every second you think of making out… Your woman will be glued to the screen ogling at the man she would rather be kissing at that exact moment! It will not be you unless you are in a black Italian suit that has an in built heating system and you are holding a gun – Do not forget the soundtrack!!! Plus you will, if you are a normal man, be looking at the woman in the red satin dress who James Bond will be getting with at the end of the movie!

I took Irene to watch Casino Royale… We were almost in love… Being in love at that point of my life was not cool. All I wanted was to take my potential girlfriend to the movies and eat popcorn and hold hands and make out now and then when the guys in the movie made out… You get my drift? I think we should have watched Dreamgirls instead because from the second the Metro Goldwyn Mayer lion roared…. There was absolutely no time to do anything else until the last second of the movie. Needless to say, all I got in return for the bill was, “I LOVED THE MOVIE!!!”

Skyfall is coming out in 20 days…. From the trailer, it is obvious that there will be no kissing or anything else apart from glued to the movie!! I have grown up since Casino Royale both abs, goatee and skill… I will take a woman out for Skyfall and see how good I have become!!!

All this Bond talk because its Bond Day… Now grab your Heineken and sip it like 007 would!

“Some men are coming to kill us, We’re going to kill them first.” Bond…. James Bond

For Akello

1 Comment

Posted by on October 5, 2012 in random


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One response to “Octopussy

  1. mmnjug

    October 6, 2012 at 10:00 am

    That is what Bond movies do…..and if the woman in it isn’t as good looking, well, it is a rarity, then the gadgets are surely keeping you interested. Hahaha!!


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