Hey Babe… I do not have much to say. This is a quickie letter.
I have just discovered I can’t make boiled eggs! I have just ruined four good eggs!
When I got home hungry today I decided to make the simplest meal… boiled eggs and pasta with ketchup…
So I google… HOW LONG SHOULD YOU LET EGGS BOIL?
Most answers ranged between 10-20 minutes. So because I like my eggs hard, I decided to do 20 minutes! You know… the longer the harder?!
I got four eggs from the fridge and got boiling!
As the eggs boiled, I diced tomatoes and onions and pili pili for my kachumbari! I have realised I suck at this as well. There is this thing I bought that’s supposed to dice onions… You know it? IT IS FUCKIN’ USELESS! It doesn’t dice for shit… So after struggling with it for like 10 minutes, I decided to go old school.. THE KNIFE! for some reason that last statement sounds like it’s about circumcision Anyways!
At minute 20 I checked my eggs… After let them cool down I tried cracking one… THE THING WAS RAW! As in the york oozed out! The white had started hardening though!
I put the 3 eggs that were left back into the water and set my timer for another 20 minutes… THIS WAS A MISTAKE!
I got a Heineken from the fridge and went into the living room… It was time I finished watching The Holiday… I have never gone beyond the 14th minute…
I completely forgot that I was boiling eggs… Alexander Muge called me to ask if there were any free houses in my hood… Random gossip followed. By the time I hung up, the call timer blinked at minute 27!
I ran to the kitchen… It was all LAKI up in there… The whole place was covered in smoke and the eggs were violent! The water was way above the normal boiling pint… I could not even turn the gas cooker off! So I am all confused pulling so tai chi kwon do trying to put the gas off! When I finally got close enough… The eggs started blowing up… One second it was all smoke in the air and the next it was smoke and egg white!!!
When I finally got the thing off there wasn’t a single egg in the sufuria… Almost all the water had evaporated! My kitchen floor was now littered with bird embryo! GENOCIDE! I had no idea 3 eggs could make such a mess!
I cleaned the whole place up and lit up a cigarette… I almost died… And killed four fowls in the process… I deserved some nicotine in my system…
MENU: Kachumbari and a cigarette