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PUSSIES IN MY ENGINE

28 Oct

Dear Doris,

I love you… And it has hit me that I have a lot that I do not tell you… You know those random short stories that one easily puts aside? Yeah… So I have started a new category called ‘short Comings’ that will have these stories!

I did not use my car the whole weekend (This is a very important bit so keep it in mind). I spent most of my weekend indoors. The only times I left the house was to go get lunch on Saturday and to take out the garbage on Sunday night… I totally ignore my grandma’s advice never to take the garbage out at nigh because apparently you are throwing away blessings… Is that why I do not own a CLS yet?

But this is a short story so I will get right to it…

On my way to work this morning I stopped at a gas station to fuel for the week… Ok I am lying… I had like 260 bob… That was a one way ticket to the office…

The Total guy looked at me funny then ordered, “Fungua tank!” I did… I do not understand why these attendants become less pleasant when you buy 200 bob fuel…

“Receipt?” I asked after he slum shut my fuel tank door… He was not too excited.

3tbjc4“Mbele iko sawa?” He asked as he handed me my receipt!

“Ebu check…” I ask and pop the bonnet.

The guy jumped back with a loud shriek letting go the bonnet.

“Boss kuna paka wawili hapo ndani!” He said keeping his distance… “Sasa tufanye aje?” I ask.

“Wewe enda tu nazo. Hapa hatufugi pussi! Usijali hazitaanguka ukiendesha” He said and jammed the bonnet. He then cleaned my wind shield.

I am now at the office with one cat in my engine. I have no clue where the second one is and I am feeling terrible that it might have fallen on the road even though I was driving very slowly.

The watchman at the office who washes my car has just sent me a text, “Ian, nifanye nini na huyu paka?”

“Chukua!” I reply!

I thought this was going to be short :/

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14 Comments

Posted by on October 28, 2013 in comedy, short comings

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

14 responses to “PUSSIES IN MY ENGINE

  1. tipsywriter2012

    October 28, 2013 at 3:39 pm

    You have cracked me up… Pussies!!!! really…

     
  2. lydzayar

    October 28, 2013 at 3:53 pm

    Pussies following you around…. Good for you!

     
  3. allumerlalumiere

    October 29, 2013 at 4:22 pm

    You live in a black comedy! The hell?!? Made my otherwise very drab afternoon.

     
  4. mmnjug

    October 30, 2013 at 10:34 am

    Hahahahaha!! Funny enough, someone also drove from Embu or Meru to Nyeri with a cat in the engine…. Was on the news last week. Hilarious!!

     
  5. Linda Okwatta (@Mintamara)

    October 31, 2013 at 2:28 pm

    Ehh! Ian some titles even…hmmmm!!!!

    I once killed a kitten in the bonnet , fan belt cut it to pieces, poor thing 😦 – that wss a decade ago

     
  6. Caroline Karani

    October 31, 2013 at 4:02 pm

    too too funny

     
  7. Maureen Wambaire

    November 5, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    The strangest things happen to you 😀 always a joy reading your pieces.

     
  8. patience

    November 8, 2013 at 2:28 pm

    ure just too funny,i think im dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     
  9. Flower

    November 8, 2013 at 10:00 pm

    You just made me cry 😀

     
  10. The Lover Of Life (@ScarletNduta)

    March 11, 2014 at 10:57 pm

    Hilarious!! like how in the world do all this things happen to you??? your one funny person and i love your blog to the very end.

     
  11. fyatu

    March 19, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    i love mayieheheheheheheheheh

     
  12. kezfromkili

    May 30, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    You know what struggle is? Struggling to keep from bursting out laughing as you read this at your desk on a boring Friday afternoon in the office. My eyes are red from trying to conceal my joy, I think my colleagues think I’m on something strong. Or illegal.
    That’s the impact your blog has on me.
    Love it. And almost every other post♥

    kezfromkili.wordpress.com

     
  13. kezfromkili

    May 30, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    You know what struggle is? Struggling to keep a straight face as I read this at the office on a boring Friday afternoon. My eyes are red from trying to act cool I swear my colleagues must think I’m high on something strong. Or illegal. Or both.
    Anyway I love this. And basically your blog♥

    http://www.kezfromkili.wordpress.com

     
  14. kezfromkili

    May 30, 2014 at 3:13 pm

    You know what struggle is? Struggling to keep a straight face as I read this at the office on a boring Friday afternoon. My eyes are so red from trying to act cool; I swear my colleagues must think I’m high on something strong. Or illegal. Or both.
    Anyway I love this. And basically your blog♥

    http://www.kezfromkili.wordpress.com

     

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