29 Oct

Dear Doris,

I am sleepy! I am 7 kilometres away from home and its 10pm… What I am trying to say is, this will be very short! This is one of those short stories I was talking about!

I went to buy lunch the other day (Saturday) , like I explained on my last letter. When I got there, I found out I had forgotten my wallet at home… I was at some place called Karamarg. I live on the 3rd floor and you do not just go up 55 steps and come down again then go back up… You will die… S I check my Mpesa balance… KSH117. I go to the nearest Mpesa place and withdraw 100 bob… The Mpesa woman was looking at me funny…

When I went back to Karamarg I met a woman walking out holding two packets of chips… Or Madaraka Fries πŸ˜€

She was BIG… AND YELLOOOO… And wore semi thick dreadlocks on her head… Her hips were massive… They looked like they came straight from Mount Olympus… Her breasts were steady and ready… Like security forts… They stood high… Almost touched her chin…

1208765_353720238092778_645671955_nShe was wearing bright green pants and a black blouse that was almost transparent… That is translucent right? I could see the idea of her body…

She wore sandals with white straps… They are those 1000 bob ones from Mr. Price.Yes I know ’em!

Her eyes met mine and I swallowed hard… I walked passed her…

When I was at the counter I said a little, harmless, innocent prayer, “God, if I see that woman again, I WILL SNIPE IT!”

I got my Madaraka Fries and walked home keeping a keen eye out for green pants…

When I got to my door, AND I SHIT YOU NOT, the Yello Rasta was at my door! She was texting frantically… I stopped for a bit on the stairs…

“Do you have any idea where block 50C is?” She asked…

I almost said, “inside that door!” I could not utter a single word… I was petrified! I just pointed towards the direction I thought Block 50C was…

I learnt not to pray for things I am not ready for!

Now I am ready for a CLS…



Posted by on October 29, 2013 in short comings


Tags: , , , , , , ,

11 responses to “HOW TO PRAY

  1. Krista

    October 30, 2013 at 8:50 am

    Karamag cafe still exists ? Went to primary in Mada and the fries were heavenly . That was ages ago… as for the stairs yeah…. I totally defend you withdrawing 100bob

  2. mmnjug

    October 30, 2013 at 10:42 am

    Was expecting it to be Genevieve….. Hahahaha!!

  3. Savvy Kenya (@savvykenya)

    October 30, 2013 at 11:42 am

    You can’t withdraw 100 bob if you have 117 bob, you need 127 bob! We know these things πŸ™‚

    What’s a CLS?

    • Lydia

      October 30, 2013 at 3:39 pm

      Only the most beautiful piece of german auto-art

    • mydeardoris

      October 30, 2013 at 5:47 pm

      Withdrawing 100 bob is 10 bob :p

  4. tipsywriter2012

    October 30, 2013 at 11:43 am

    I swear some of this stuff are just too Best (good is an understatement) to be real. Hehehehee.

  5. J

    October 31, 2013 at 2:33 pm

    ” I learnt not to pray for things I am not ready for”

  6. Adikinyi

    November 1, 2013 at 1:09 pm

    be careful what you pray for cause you just might get it.
    ION,Karamag fries are to die for

  7. Bugz

    November 1, 2013 at 6:40 pm

    This ”yelloo yelloo” ladies will be the death of you considering your #Mlingoti slenderness….hides…

    Still thinking about the kitten you killed. I’m almost sure it was a victim of roadkill.

  8. diana

    January 29, 2014 at 3:13 pm

    how does one like this page


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