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Category Archives: letters from Doris*

Nishike


My Lovely Doris,

It has been a long while while since I wrote last. I miss you dearly. My heart skips several beats at the thought of your beauty… The thought of your lips against mine… The thought of your skin on mine!

I have not had time to write to you lately! I have stories for you though. There is one about a matatu dropping me off near a grave yard it the dead of the night because I didn’t have change for 1000 bob and another one where I was in the same compound with Shebesh and Sonko and there were gunshots and 1000 women screaming and shouting… At that same compound a policeman with a gun asked me to switch off the music we were listening to because it was too loud! But that one is for another day!

This is a letter I received at the beginning of this year. Another woman who is convinced she is Doris. She will state a few things she claims we did together! Do not believe her!

black-woman-writing-letterDear Ian,

You’re weird! I like weird! I love weird! I would choose weird any day.

Life has never let me choose though. If it had I would not be writing to you with tears in my eyes afraid that you are forgetting about me. I would wake up next to your freakishly long legs every morning… and other long things I remember about you. I would still be playing with your bee sting nipples on Saturday mornings while you read me funny comments on askreddit. I would be falling asleep on your chest while we watch a movie every night. We would be sharing a smoke after ruining dinner because we were busy catching a quickie. I would be wearing nothing under your t-shirt while we watch Boondocks on Sunday morning. I would be with you….

Remember our last night together? You tried singing to me. God, you have the worst voice. That didn’t stop you though; I have always loved that about you. That was one of the many nights we chose to stay in together rather than be out getting drunk and dirty with our friends. My friends were starting to complain by the way. I wore that red t-shirt of yours, that one that you always hated me for wearing because you had wanted to wear it too? Yes, that one.  Oh and you should stop looking for it, I took it with me. Your laugh was louder that night, your kisses deeper and your touch more gentle. Something was different about us that night. It was like we were not afraid to be vulnerable anymore, like nothing but us mattered. I had never been so certain of my love for you like I was on that day. As days pass, I am more convinced that I will never feel any different for you.

I hate that I had to leave but I kept something that will always remind me of that night. I kept a star from that night that shines brighter every day. Her name is Gian. She is lovely!

Something bothers me, you are not writing to me as much as you used to. You are even letting other men write to me, I don’t hate the attention. Worse, you wrote to Adele! The latter arouses very many different shades of jealous in me. What is happening to your feelings for me? Surely you are not going to forget about me, are you? I would hate to not have your letters to hug tight at night when my husband sleeps over at his third wife’s house. We need to talk; our talk has been long overdue. I am afraid, however, that I might not go back to my husband’s house if I so much as get a two second hug from you…. Aaaah your hugs! Those used to feel so good.

Please find a good woman to take care of you. I hear you are becoming thinner and are beginning to look sickly. I wish I could cook for you again but… well, responsibilities. Every once in a while I will sneak away for a smoke in honor of what we used to be. I hope you found your monglinyo, sorry had to put that somewhere.

I have to go make dinner and practice my happy look for when he comes…if he comes.

I luv you!

Yours now and forever,

The Real Doris

 

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Kizee


Kizee, manzi wa yours hapa ivi, roho ya me imekuhata mbaya. Kudoze imekuwa ni ngori bana. NikizidI kuwa limbas na wewe nitatupa form. Hii life haina maana bila wewe mzito, mauchungu kibao tu. Ngoso ngimiz ngimiz ndio zako! Punguza kiasi, animz wa you anataka kuwa anasoma kitu simple bana. Mtu nguyaz nakumind deadly… Barua yako ”the amazing goodnight” iliniwai roho mbaya bana… Kubonga story za ma-animz wengine ndio zako. Wewe hudai nirudi mtaani na vile unahema kila mresh. Za ovyo nazo? Na wacha nikuask, mbona wewe uniita ”the other doris?” kunibagua na kunibeba ufala ufala ndio zako. bado hata siamini vile roho ya me haiwachangi malovings za you mzito!

Wolez nimekumbuka ni birthday yako buda, hata ukae furthest na mimi, siwezi kusahau na siwezi sare kukundapez. Nawajus utafanya kibash kama kawa na hautatuma ki-invite joh, so mimi nitawasha kindukulu, ni puff puff pass na wadhii wa mtaani na kamaisha kazidi. Lakini ujue mi hukumind, ni saa tano usiku, na niko hapa na chora ruabas. Na si unajua nangos ya me haiwezi hizi risto za mitambo, nimeomba neiba key ya cyber, kama hii si malovings basi wee nishow.

Alafu nikuulize, hay festival ni vako gani tena? Ngoso kiasi yenye najua, hay ni dema ya ng’ombe, so jaribu uniradishe hii maneno buda…

Sijui nikuchoree kipoem hivi kama birthday gift, wacha nitry…

mpenzi wa me tangu zamo,

umekaa mbali na me na bado nakupenda more,

mara nyingi una za ovyo lakini nakudai hivo hivo,

wanadai mzito ni effort na yako sijaicheki,

love yako inazidi kuwa kiasi nangoja tu ibleki,

haina ngori hata ukiniondoka,

naelewa mi ni-animz wa ghetto na wewe ushaaomoka,

siwezi bishana na wenye looks na karatasi ishaanitoka

nataka ujibambe yako yote,

furaha siku most na noma mara zote

jibonde yako yote, bila ngori hadi usote

shokez pia ni siku, utasaka na utakule fiteh

A very happy birthday Ian.

 
 

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The Other Doris Writes Again


Boy wa me niaje? Kunitupa ndio zako? Nimekuhata mbaya mboyz wa mine, nivutie nangos boss. Umeishi aje kama hujachora letter, hata nilikuwa nimegwaya kwani umegedi… ama ulidecide kuishia na hao wasupa wengine wamekuwa wakikuhema. Nakulove yangu yote bana..

Nacheki karibu ubambwe na makanjo mzeiya,kwani hujajua kuishi ya jiji? Lazima ukikaa jiji ujue kuhepa, kanjo ma mbang’a, teargas na hata saa zingine ma alshabab. Yani hata kiwete anakuondoka? Hapo umeniangusha boy wangu. Haya tubonge kitu ilifanya ufike hapo, ndula! Ati wewe hupanguziwa ndula mara ngapi? Ian bana hata kama ni look na usos, ndula panguzia mtaani asubuhi, tembea poa hadi ufike wera alafu jioni sio lazima upanguze, si unarudi kejani ama? Lakini usikonde (btw ukakonda zaidi ya hapo hata upepo inakubeba) msee wa mine hapo uliponea.

Btw kwani wewe hutumia nangos gani? Saa zote wewe husema unanichorea letaa kwa nangos, nimejaribu na nangos ya me na haiwes mek, labda nikuandikie kisms hivi! Na kwani kwenyu hakuna madingo? Uyole ukitoa nangos kwa mat na inakaa inaweza uzwa zaidi ya kavu mbili, hautaicheki tena,unapigwa nyongolo na inaishia. Ile siku utadecide kucome kunicheki uyole usibebe nangos yeyote na hata usivae hizo ndula za kutoka maiyolo ama utarudi mtaani mguu chuma, lakini usijali, nitakutegea kwa roteja so ukidondoka mat nitakuwa rada na wewe mbaya sawa? So unajaku lini mtu nguyaz? Alafu bro ya mine alinyongoa msee westie juzi  na akambeba kisimu flani kisoo kimeandikwa Samsung. Kama unajua mahali anaweza kikinda nishow, hata wewe tutakugawia hio mkwanja biz ikiivana sawa?

Alafu pia nilicheki vile wee unihata hadi umeanza kunilinganisha na matha wa kiothe mtaa yenyu, hizo ndio mimi huita njaro za ovyo, namba yangu unayo, badala univutie tuonane, kazi yako ni kuandama wasupa wa wenyewe. Mimi nishajipa bana, wee tu ndio unaweza niokolea ndio niomoke, hata mimi ningependa kuishi kilee ubabini kama wee joh,nikuwe nadish masandwich na kuenda ma place kama dormans.

Fanya mpango tuonane bana. Wewe ndio msee wa miaeh.

STRONG!

 
17 Comments

Posted by on August 7, 2012 in guest posts, letters from Doris*

 

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Another Letter From Another Doris


This came in this morning… Another Doris!! By

Niaje mtu nguyaz, nimecheki vile kila m’she anakudai. Kwani kuna Doris wapinga kizee? Sinilidhani ni mimi tu? Ushaa sahau ile siku flani ulikujanga westie hapo sarit na ukanibuyia keroma na beshte yangu? Si nilidhani mimi ndio unapenda bana? Sasa nacheki mara kuna dorcas, sijui doris, mwingine anadai hata ako na wakidi wako wambexe. Sijui itakuwaje mzito. Mwingine ata ashakushow vile chali wa njugu anamdai na bad uko bumper nayeye! Kama madame wanakudai hivi, mimi naona afadhali nijitoe bana. Haina wass!

Lakini sitajitoa virahisi hivyo, matha alinishow roho ya mine ikipenda msee na msee pia ananipenda, nisiwai jitoa hivyo tu, unaniget? So ambia hao madame wengine, hakuna mahali naishia na wewe ni mzito wa me.

Wacha nikushow kitu hunibamaba na wewe, unajua kuwai msee stori hadi anabambika. Story zako za mat hunibamba mbaya.. Kwanza story yako ya kumanga ENO juu haukuwa na fare ilinimaliza mbaya. Nilishow maboy wangu wa uyole hiyo risto jo, na siku hizi hawalipangi fare, umewaokolea mbaya!

Unajua kingoso hunichanga lakini bado uko na mimi, kama hiyo si malovings basi sijui ni nini…

Kwanza nilicheki Easter ulikuwa umeishia coasto bana, hata huwezi tuma ki-invite hivi? Enyewe saa zingine wewe hukuwa na za ovyo!

Wacha niache story kibao, niko kwa cyber na nacheki mbao iko karibu kuisha na sina doh ingine. Btw ukatuma ki-mpesa hivi naeza nice mbaya. Oh alafu ukianza hizo letter wee huniandikia, si hapo kwa malovie davi ukuwe unachora na sheng’ itanibamba mbaya!

WAZI JOH!

 
28 Comments

Posted by on July 17, 2012 in guest posts, letters from Doris*

 
 
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