Money Lover

My Lovely Piece of Chicken,

Love, I know you are a bit perplexed at why I refer to you as a piece of chicken… I mean not to deprecate or diminish your worth in my heart… I, but see you as an edible piece of delicious chicken… How I long for your skin to play upon my lips… As I kiss your thighs… As I eat you… Your tender skin only but loyal to my lips upon every kiss…

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

I think I have been watching Spartacus a bit too long, my grammar is all weird…

It rained hard this morning… So I stayed in bed longer than usual… I woke up at 10am. I woke up to the site of my househelp bent upon the floor scrubbing the tiles beneath her. I am not sure if you quite see what I am trying to say! It is not a sight to wake up to…WHO LET HER INTO THE HOUSE IN THE FIRST PLACE! What do you know, maybe tomorrow I might wake up to the watchman shitting in my toilet! BOUNDERIES YE NIGGAS!

On to other things… Driving to work with all the puddles, you have to mind the pedestrians… Eventhough no one minded me on the days I used to be a pedestrian… my parents taught me right though… I try my best never to splash dirty water at any man or woman… I even stop the car sometimes, which normally drives the person in the car behind me furious!

When I got to Westlands though, I came by a white pedestrian… I splashed water at him. He did not look like a nice person! I don’t like people who do not look like nice people…

“YOU COCK!” He shouted at me frantically waving his middle finger at me! The white man in his right mind thought it right to refer to me as a male hen… I do not understand people!

But this letter was not about cocks or white men… This is about this song called Money Lover by Sauti Sol which if you did not know is my best band in the world followed quite closely by Coldpaly and Boyz || Men.

Listen to the song here

It is A JAM! So there is this part in the song that goes like, “Heri uliye kwenye rage rover, ama ucheke kwenye boda boda… Ukose usingizi Runda, masaibu yanakufuata…” which if you do not understand Kiswahili, simply means, “would you rather cry in a range rover or laugh on a bicycle… Lack sleep in Runda with problems following you” That translation sucks but its close and that is all that matters…

About this part, I have for the longest time felt this was a no brainer… AS IN YOU CAN BET YOUR ASS I WILL BE WEEPING IN THAT RANGE ROVER!!!! AND I WILL BE WIDE AWAKE IN THAT MANSION IN RUNDA! Plus try picture yourself laughing on a bicycle… If your picture is right, you should be looking like a mad man! Did you ever read this Kiswahili storybook in Primary called, ‘Mjinga Na Kioo’? It is a brilliant example of how you look laughing on a bicycle…

Then the other night when I was listening to the song I stopped to think about it… Here is what I came up with.

As in try thinking about what would make you cry… A cheating husband… Death of a child… cutting onions… You losing your job… The list goes on and on! NOW TRY IMAGINING GOING THROUGH ALL THIS EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF THE DAY!!! EVERY DAY! Now add the range rover… Sad huh! You would probably drive that car into a creek or something! Maybe not creek, maybe Nairobi River!

Second bit… “Ukose usingizi Runda, masaibu yanakufuata…” Should I even explain this?

So I changed my mind about what I had ealier felt… I WOULD RATHER LAUGH MY ASS OFF STRAPPED ON THAT BODA BODA… I would look psycho… But I wouyld be one happy mothapsycho!

Sauti Sol has just released a new song called STILL THE ONE another BIG JAM! Listen to it here:

My Love Doris, I leave you with this…