Dear Doris,
I have no idea where to start!!! As in im practically squeezing my seat with my ass!!! I dont even know ho w thats possible but i am sure you know what ia m talking about!!!!
the heading means nothing!!! but i promise my next title will do better!!
My birthday was ALMOST the best birthday ever for reason i will state in a short while!!! but be advised, my ALMOST is way above the charts!!!!
i will explain why it was almsot!! i will try to be as brief as possible!!!!
THE BEST BIRTHDAY IN THE EVER IS:
me in a sailor's suit inside a 16 door red hammer with italian red and black leather interior, a FANTA dispenser with 110 litres offanta orange!! that with the following 25 women naked chasing each other:-
Kim kardashian, Jessica aka ms RAbbit, Queen Latifah, Monique, Gabrielle Union
, Taraji P Anderson, Halle Berry, Carmen Elektra….mmmm Miranda Kerr, Salma Hayek, Christina
Aguilera,Megan Fox, Buffie the Body,Pamela Anderson,Vida Guerra ,Heidi Montag, lil Kim, Christina Millian, Eva Longoria, Victoria
Beckham,Petra
Nemcova, Tara
Reid , Megan Good, Carmen Garcia, Lindsay Lohan….
i dont know if those are 25, im too lazy to count but im sure you get my drift!!!
now let me tell you what went down….ok this is hard, im trying to filter shit to say and im ending up filtering everything!!! THERE WAS NO CAKE!!! thats for sure, then again it depends on what you consider cake!!!!
i didnt take any form of alcohol!! But today at the office during a meeting, a double tot glass fell out of my poket and violently rolled roud the room!!! LIGHTING!!! you know those Bailey's double tot glasses that light up??!! YEAH, now no 1 believes i dont drink…. SHOWING UP LATE OR NOT AT ALL would be fine..but tot glasses falling out of your pockets is just too much!!!or so i think!!
i drunk a total of 16 FANTAS, friends didnt mind buying em!!!i was on the floor crawling!!!i was drunk silly on sugar!! i had silver stars all over my body when i gat home!! the stars were on the floor and table tops at the club i was in!!! i swear i cant remember how i had em on my back and thighs!!!
and I STOLE THAT TOT GLASS!! I REMEMBER CLEARLY NOW!! i think!!!
i remember when we were getting back home, i couldnt hide the tot glass coz it had gone wild on me!! it was blinkin blue lights violently!!i wrapped it like i needed it kept warm!!
before we went out, my friends n i went to eat at MOBIL westlands…the place was crawling with teenagers in falling pants an small shots and bras for tops n YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!! at that momennt it hit me HOW OLD I WAS GETTING!!!
im shopping for a gift for my big bros birthday on the 17th of this month!! i have tried asking him what he wants in secret ways…all i have go is a pair of shoes that cost 16,000 KES ….. IM FUCKED!
Dear Doris 